For South Africa 11July 2010 marked the end of a Spectacular event and time in our nation’s history. For parents it meant the time had come, soon the kiddies would be going back to school. To many the thoughts of the children going back to school is met with utter delight, no more kids running wild, no more worries over baby sitters or what stimulating activities to plan for the day. I on the other am not so happy.
Back to school for me means going back to being a default “stay at home mom” i say default cause unlike other mom’s this is due to circumstance and not choice. I don't mind having to wake up at ungodly hours and making sure my munchkin is dressed, fed and ready for school. I don't even mind the school run and being stuck in the 10 minute traffic jams (I live in Bloemfontein). No, all that I can tolerate, what I can’t tolerate, what is an intrinsic part of being a stay at home mom is... The Mommy Bench!
If you are a working mom you probably have no idea what I’m talking about, you drop your child off at school , probably don't even get out to walk him to class because you are rushing off to work. After school your child goes to day care and after work you pick him up, probably in a rush to get home cook, and get ready for another busy day.
The Mommy Bench is where you find the stay at home moms. We get there 30 minutes before school is out, so we can get the best parking (bet you had no idea parking is a major cause of contention). Most of us are pregnant or have toddlers trailing behind us.
This bench like all other places where woman convene, better yet woman who really have nothing else going on during the day, is a place of silent alliances. Mommy cliques based on what car you drive, where you live, what you husband does for a living etc...
The Mommy Bench does not only come with the perks of being up to date with the latest gossip; who’s husband is cheating, who’s son is failing, No it also comes with responsibility. Part of being part of the “bench society “means that you, (because it is evident you have nothing better to do) will be responsible for volunteering at all major school events. Tuck shop duty, bake sale, charity drives, and field trips. It even gets to the point where you are not asked to volunteer but I told that you will be on duty.
The last factor which makes me dread the mommy bench is; the play dates. Don't get me wrong I love my son and by all means I want him to have fun with his friends but being on that bench means each and every friend will come up to me “Khwezi’s mom, when can I come over?’’ and of course I reply just tell your mom to call me honey... Like clock work I’ll get a call “can such and such go home with you on Friday, I’ll pick him up after work”. Friday being a sports day and the day of the spelling test means not only do I have to sit through conversations about other people marital problems, their ill behaved children, worry about spelling test results but now have to also be concerned with planning a fun filled after school play date.
So you see while other parents feel a sense of relief, I could do with an extra day maybe two or make that a week!
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